one of the worst things about working in a mindless job in which you don’t actually DO anything is that you get to the point where you think too much. you begin to doubt yourself and question it all. in fact this is the seminal sign of insanity. a mere atomic particle of imbalance that in the proper conditions causes meltdown. ah joy. surrounded by incessant clacking of keyboards, various whirrings and beeps, and sundry shiftings and squeaks of bodies in uncomfortable chairs. no windows, just fluorescence. air conditioning permanently 3 degrees too cold. no one speaking, no laughter. stagnation. who wouldn’t become the slightest bit loony. my eyes burn from staring at a screen, my arms are freezing because it is more important that the machines be cool than the person be warm. it is summer. i should be outside gallivanting around with dirty hands a mischevious mind and a dog for company. but i’m not a child anymore. fun is secondary to providing the means for my own existence. bitch moan repeat. if anyone would like to know how to torture me with extreme viciousness, just stick me in a very brightly lit, air conditioned (3 degrees too cold) room and leave me with nothing to do. i’ll crack within a day. i’m not angry or even really complaining. the only reason any of this is here is to provide myself with a moment of distraction before the giant white wall falls on me again. oop.