Disassociation

i don’t asso­ciate myself with my body or my name. my enti­ty is con­tent to define itself mere­ly as psy­che. per­haps that is why i only take care of my appearence when soci­ety demands i do so. why i shave once a week, instead of not at all. why i have mul­ti­ple changes of cloth­ing instead of just a few. answer­ing to my name is just pavlov­ian response, and body lan­guage and small talk cour­te­sies mere­ly mus­cle mem­o­ry guid­ed by my ego into what i hope is a non­threat­en­ing appearence. it gives me time to think.

i am inter­nal. too much so most like­ly. but my mind is the only thing that can hold my atten­tion for more than one mom…look at the pur­ty lights!