Lonely Guy

i’m a lone­ly guy, no doubt about it. it is my choice and my con­se­quence. but when­ev­er i decide to try and do some­thing about it, the stu­pid mat­ing game that must be played makes me sat­ur­nine. i am a man who does not like to bandy about emo­tions and i am not a man who is will­ing to indulge in care­less trysts to sat­is­fy his lusts. i am also not a man who will always be hap­py in tan­dem with his woman, eupho­ria is ethe­re­al and sub­stance con­sists of mix­ing water with dirt and mak­ing mud. i’m a cyn­i­cal guy, no doubt about it. it is my choice and my con­se­quence. it is the prod­uct of end­less bouts of beat­ing my head against the wall being the unco­or­di­nat­ed kid no one wants on their team try­ing to under­stand the rules of the game while not even inter­est­ed in play­ing the stu­pid thing. if there are any women out there who feel the same way, ’tis unfor­tu­nate because the state of abjec­tion cre­at­ed by our exclu­sion pre­vents con­sol­i­da­tion and dia­logue by our very sta­tus as Oth­er. archived

i’m as fine as any­one can be about being alone. it is very low main­te­nance and allows me to improve myself and focus on what is impor­tant for me. the prob­lem with being alone is that you become too self-cen­tered and self-absorbed and can forget…um, stuff. it is, how­ev­er, refresh­ing to be not con­cern your­self with hook­ing up and seek­ing a men­tal­ly over­con­struct­ed love affair, even though i still tend to con­cern myself with both. i nev­er said i could prac­tice my preachy­ness. its much eas­i­er to han­dle rela­tion­ships with women when I have noth­ing more in mind than sim­ple friend­ship.

i’ve come to a con­clu­sion. i want to have my cake and eat it too. i need the feel­ing of a healthy lov­ing rela­tion­ship right now. how­ev­er, i don’t want any­thing to do in that capac­i­ty with any girl around here. so in com­pro­mise i want a hook-up.