Monkey Impression

when it comes to imper­son­at­ing a Great Ape of the order Pri­mates i am king. i can be a won­der­ful mon­key. it helps that i gan­gle more than most peo­ple and have the emo­tion­al devel­op­ment of a juve­nile lemur. i’ve got aggressive/excited Goril­la behav­ior down to a sci­ence. i’ve got my stan­dard excit­ed hop­ping around/pantomime feces-throw­ing ‘aaah aaah’ scream­ing mon­key and also my creepy angry chest-beat­ing, branch shak­ing ‘ooh ooh’ bum-rush­ing sil­ver­back rush. most peo­ple who know me think it is rather fun­ny. one of my friends gets scared when­ev­er i do it though. appar­ent­ly i’m TOO accu­rate.

so, if you ever need some­one to act like a gorilla/monkey be sure to call my toll free num­ber 1–888-APE-MANN. sor­ry, i don’t do birth­day par­ties.