I’m going to get a new window in my apartment. I should be terribly excited I suppose, except that my apartment also needs new closet doors, new cabinets, new carpet and a good scrubbing by a HazMat team. Also, the communication of the landlord to the tenants is of the highest technology. Someone slid a barely legible handwritten note underneath my door stating that on Tuesday May 27th my apartment would be getting a new window. It also stated that the tenant must be present during the entire time of the installation which is scheduled from 8am till ??. So it basically blows an entire day of work and an entire day of possible fun so I can sit around and watch some guy with plumber butt bust out the old window, take a break, fit the sill for a new window, take a break, smoke a cigarette, take a break, take a break, smell up my apartment, make it dirty, take a break, put in the new window, take a break, caulk and seal it [if i’m lucky], take a break and take a break. I guess I’m supposed to make sure he won’t steal anything either. Oh yeah, Tuesday the 27th is actually Thursday the 27th. So I don’t really know when the hell this guy is going to show up.
Of course, perhaps the window installer will be a Swedish bikini model wearing nothing but the tool belt and she’ll need my help installing some fixtures. It is more likely that she will be a Latvian with bad teeth that smells of onions and rancid sweat. It is even more likely that she will be a he with bad teeth, the kind of smell that takes the enamel off of teeth [hence his bad teeth] and tools that grease everything they touch. That might sound bad, but that is what the guy who was installing a window on the 3rd floor looked like yesterday.