Confession

Today I am feel­ing like I am a fail­ure. I am also feel­ing frus­trat­ed. My job is unful­fill­ing and a dead end. My Cleve­land friends have either moved away or my behav­ior has dri­ven them away. I know vir­tu­al­ly no one my age, and while I find it easy to talk to peo­ple I don’t make new friends. I am filled with false pride and uncer­tain­ty. I feel that I am not doing any­thing to make a pos­i­tive dif­fer­ence in any­one else’s life. I am ashamed of my imma­ture and shal­low behav­ior with old friends and women and my impa­tience with peo­ple who don’t match my expec­ta­tions. I am feel­ing trapped and left behind as I see peo­ple my own age becom­ing more and more suc­cess­ful and appar­ent­ly hap­py.

I know that I don’t have to judge my own worth based on the lives of oth­er peo­ple. I know that, mate­ri­al­ly, I have things much bet­ter than the vast major­i­ty of human­i­ty. I know that I am the only per­son who can be an agent of change for my life. But I am tired of being strong for myself. I can’t find peace in empti­ness. But, I’m sure I’ll get over this. That’s just how I feel today. No one likes a whin­er. I do feel a lit­tle bet­ter now.

And don’t call me, mom. *rolls eyes*