Pellegrino Foods Heat and Eat Pepperoni Pizza Flavor Pepperoni Balls

Pel­le­gri­no Foods Heat and Eat Pep­per­oni Piz­za Fla­vor Pep­per­oni Balls are made by Pel­le­gri­no Foods from War­ren, PA. The only thing I can find out about this com­pa­ny is this anti­defama­tion appeal [pdf]. In any case this item con­sists of two din­ner rolls inject­ed with some­thing approx­i­mat­ing piz­za gunk. Ingre­di­ents include: Potas­si­um Bro­mate, Thi­amine Monon­i­trate, Moz­zarel­la Cheese Sub­sti­tute, Sodi­um Alu­minum Phos­phate, Sodi­um Cit­rate, Sor­bic Acid, Sodi­um Phos­phate, Mag­ne­sium Oxide, Zinc Oxide, Cyanocobal­amin, Fer­ric Orthophos­phate, Pyri­dox­ine HCO, Cal­ci­um Caseinate, Tri­cal­ci­um Phos­phate, Dis­odi­um Phos­phate, Trisodi­um Phos­phate, Cal­ci­um Pan­oth­en­ate, Sodi­um Ery­thor­bate and papri­ka. All in just 6oz and for $1.30.

It was also inspect­ed and passed by the U.S. Depart­ment of Agri­cul­ture EST 8575. Excuse me while I go die.

12 thoughts on “Pellegrino Foods Heat and Eat Pepperoni Pizza Flavor Pepperoni Balls”

  1. Oh, Adam. Did that long weasel­s­peak name not fore­warn you? The legal­ly required inclu­sion of the “fla­vor” in the names of things that aren’t indeed what they are called? The rep­e­ti­tion of “pep­per­oni” in the hope that the rep­e­ti­tion might actu­al­ly charm it into resem­bling pep­per­oni some­how? Pep­per­oni balls, fer­god­sakes? You’re going to sin­gle­hand­ed­ly keep some gas­troen­terol­o­gist well stocked with BMWs some­day. But at least you got your vit­a­min B12 (that’s the “cyanocobal­amin” part).

  2. I find your food reviews fas­ci­nat­ing. I notice that you did not say much about the taste. On the oth­er hand your descrip­tions of beer is very descrip­tive.

    From that I deduct that you liked the beer a whole lot more 🙂

    I think you should write a vend­ing machine review book, it would be a big hit at my job since we do not have a cafe­te­ria but a few vend­ing machines. I take my lunch but I have seen a few brave soul eat­ing out of the vendy.

  3. Oh jeez.

    I swear, some­day I will not be sur­prised to hear you have keeled over from the force of your stom­ach spon­ta­neous­ly com­bust­ing. I might be sad, but def­i­nite­ly not sur­prised.

  5. I see you’ve recov­ered enough from last week­ends meat-induced com­ma fest to actu­al­ly try tack­ling some artif­i­cal crap from the vendy. Remem­ber what does not kill you makes you stronger. I expect that you’ll be able to drink bat­tery acid by the time you’re done bat­tling the vendy.

  6. your vendy exper­i­ments are clear­ly just an indi­ca­tion of self-sab­o­tag­ing behav­ior. why not just smoke cig­a­rettes instead? Or sniff glue.

  9. Well, I am very hap­py to see anoth­er vend­ing machine entry 🙂 (though, I was told I was akin to the kid who mix­es all his lunch togeth­er and you were the one who eats it on a bet.

  11. I JUST ATE A PACKAGED SLOPPY JOE. IT WAS HORRIBLE. IF YOU PACKAGED THIS FOOD ITEM, I WOULD STOP. SOMEONE NEEDS TO GIVE YOU A RECIEPT FOR SLOPPY JOES. THAT WASN’T WHAT I ATE.…TOSSED IN THE TRASH.

  12. For those of you skep­ti­cal of “pep­per­oni balls,” you should know that they are pret­ty much a sta­ple of North­west Penn­syl­va­nia piz­za places, although they are typ­i­cal­ly just pep­per­oni in bread, none of this “piz­za fla­vored” crap. They’re real­ly good, unless you get them from a vend­ing machine, appar­ent­ly. Why would you think that was a good idea

Comments are closed.