• Christmas Ale is alcoholic.
• Anchor Steam Ale is alcoholic.
• Sam Adams’s Cherry Wheat, despite smelling and tasting like cherry Kool-Aid, is alcoholic.
• Walking home buzzed on rimed-ice sidewalks, in adidas spezials is simultaneously fraught and hilarious.
• Unexpected windfalls of top-notch science fiction and locally published poetry mags only occur after a Christmas Ale or two.
• Bill the Schizophrenic will always do the same jokes.
• The World Tour of Beers originated at Edison’s Pub.
• In winter, take your shoes off before having a piss; otherwise the bathroom floor will be covered with street grime when you wake up.
• Drink a big glass of water before going to bed if you’ve been into the Christmas Ale.
• After drinking lots of Christmas Ale, the next day your knee will hurt like a motherfucker.
• Christmas Ale.