Dentist

I went to the den­tist for the first time in sev­er­al years today. They kept exclaim­ing over how nice my teeth were, but it seems like going to the den­tist is now akin to get­ting your oil changed at Lube­Town; every three sec­onds some­one is try­ing to sell you a lit­tle perk that you don’t need. No, I don’t want to drop a saw­buck of c‑notes to get my teeth whitened, nor do I want to shell out a few less clams for white strips, even if they are 20 times stronger than what you can buy in the store. Nor do I need a flu­o­ride treat­ment, that shit is a gov­ern­ment con­spir­a­cy to dis­pose of tox­ic waste. Besides, I drink so much tea that I’m like­ly flu­o­ri­dat­ed up to my eye­teeth any­way.

I do need to start floss­ing though, I agree with them on that point.