Alternative Ways to Squeeze the Charmin

• Vise Grips.
• Drop an anvil on it.
• With your thighs.
• Throw it into a black hole.
• Raise its prop­er­ty tax­es.
• Trash com­pactor.
• Using some fat guy’s man-breasts.
• Using some hot chick­’s woman-breasts.
• Bel­ly flop­ping on it.
• With Dynam­ic Ten­sion™.