Whinge

Yes­ter­day I did some­thing I haven’t done in a very long time. After work I sat down and read for six and a half hours. I should have con­tin­ued search­ing for jobs [cur­rent­ly look­ing in Toron­to] or worked on the redesign for Tremon­ter or read some Neigh­bor­hood Con­nec­tions Grant Pro­pos­als or done some more hoof­work try­ing to find get a list of youth pro­gram­ming for the 2007 Cleve­land Lead­er­ship Sum­mit or even gone for a run or made din­ner or at least done the dish­es or vac­u­umed. I cur­rent­ly have no moti­va­tion. I’ve been work­ing so hard at so many dif­fer­ent things for so long and still haven’t got­ten any­where [or so it appears to me]. I’ve been look­ing for a new job for two years now and have had three and a half inter­views in that entire time. One of my cowork­ers, fresh out of col­lege, just got a new job mak­ing $6k more than I do.

There is obvi­ous­ly some­thing wrong with how I search for jobs or my resume or my com­port­ment in the inter­view that wrecks me. I need to fig­ure out what that is, exact­ly, and fix it. Although being pol­ished and the right fit for the job does­n’t mean the job is going to be out there, in Cleve­land at least. I need to fig­ure out what I want to do with my life and do it. Cur­rent­ly I’ve decid­ed that when and if I ever get $4k saved I’ll just quit and move from Cleve­land. It is hard to save that much when I still make under $29k after near­ly three years and one pro­mo­tion. Where will I go? I don’t know. What I’ll do when I get there? I don’t know. Wher­ev­er it is, it’ll have to have more oppor­tu­ni­ties for me than Cleve­land does, that’s for cer­tain.

I love Tremont, I love the style of Cleve­land and its enter­tain­ment scene, I love the peo­ple. I’ll con­tin­ue to do the best I can for the city until the day I leave. But I’m out. That’s the only moti­va­tion I have today. Cleve­land’s got every­thing I want in a city except for a good, chal­leng­ing and inter­est­ing job.