I think one of the reasons I’m so rigid in my reckoning of life is that at a fundamental level I’m a coward. Sometimes when I’m caught by surprise and have to think fast about something, I choose what appears to be the easiest or safest way, or sometimes just refuse to think about it at all and go pound sand with my head. The enforced rigidity has cut down on my opportunities to let myself fuck up, but the side effect of this is that I have been or am becoming a proud asshole. I guess I should stop feeling smug about my supposed success and figure out how to take myself down a peg or two.