So I own the House Of Leaves and my movie-generic wife is swallowed by an evil crab-walking toddler who crawls into a cupboard and morphs into a rolled up bath rug. Wu Tang Iron Fist RZA shows up to take care of the possessed house issue and brings U‑God with him. U‑God tries to saw into the wall but his hand turns against him and he cuts off his middle three fingers to protect himself and everyone else. RZA and I discuss options.
Cut to me trekking in the mountains with something like the Ark of the Covenant. Sherpas stumble, the lid comes off and a green hand leaps out and facehugs me, a la The Mask. A la The Tick, my head becomes a green hand, a bit like Chairface Chippendale. We are captured by Loki and taken to an underground temple where he uses us and a bunch of Germans for target practice.
My handhead has given me powers. I try to use it to grab the gunners like Mr. Fantastic, but that doesn’t work. Instead I run and grab Loki’s staff and I can use it. Everyone escapes but Loki who wants his staff back. I use it to create low frequency vibrations that collapse the temple on all 5 of him.
Outside, it turns out that his henchmen, who all wear tea cozies as masks are just a bunch of college bros earning some quick beer money.
*This dream was brought to you by cold medicine.