This past year was a tough one. The first half was spent on high alert with a project that went widdershins & the second half was spent failing to recover from being dumped by the woman I wanted to marry. Relationships with my mom & a once good friend are now soured because they consistently provided the opposite of emotional support after this occurred. My kid has some behavioral issues at school & communication with his mom remains close to non-existent.
I know that many other parts of my life are just fine & that I’m privileged and ahead of the game compared to many other people. I have exceptional coworkers & an intelligent & sweet child. I can pay all of my bills, donate to charity, and volunteer with a non-profit. That doesn’t change the fact that I can’t summon the energy to seek happiness anymore. Getting dumped broke my heart & it still hurts too much to poke around inside to figure out how to fix it.
I’m trying to find some goals to grasp on to for 2018 where success and failure are in my control. I’m hoping that will help me feel better.
- Lose 20 pounds, get into shape, & complete a sprint triathlon
- I plan to track diet & exercise to reach this goal.
- Learn the basics of machine learning/neural networks to build a poetry generator
- There are online tutorials to get me through the first part, the second piece will be a bit more seat-of-the-pants, but I look forward to some creative problem-solving.
That’s all I have had the energy to come up with. Sorry for all of the complaining.
