Category: Home Ownership

Last night at 4am I was awak­ened by the worst alter­ca­tion I’ve heard yet from my moon-struck neigh­bors. The crazy lady yells at her man on a near­ly dai­ly basis; “fuck this, fuck that, fuck­ety fuck fuck, like Samuel L. in Pulp Fic­tion. She is so loud that she can wake me up when there are no open win­dows and she’s in the build­ing next to us. There are often chil­dren cry­ing. I called the cops once when there was both yelling and cry­ing chil­dren with the addi­tion of threats about cus­tody and safe­ty issues regard­ing the kids. I don’t think any­thing result­ed from that.

Last night they woke me up twice. The first time, crazy lady was scream­ing at the top of her lungs for peo­ple to shut up because the kids were sleep­ing. Then, lat­er on, she was yelling “get the fuck out of my house!” and then “get the fuck out of my yard” to some dude named Raek­won who end­ed up break­ing her car win­dow before tear­ing off like a bat out of hell. Crazy lady keeps yelling and ends up yarf­ing from the stress, the folks upstairs quick­ly bring down their infant and skedad­dle for a bit, and crazy lady and com­pa­ny go back inside. No use call­ing the cops, they’ve got more impor­tant things to do at 4am than stop by a place where the alter­ca­tion has already fin­ished [unless Raek­won comes back with a 9].

A few min­utes lat­er I heard, a few blocks away, a ter­ri­ble car acci­dent. The horn went off for about 10 min­utes before sirens showed up. I went out­side a few times to make sure things were safe, and was going to try to find the acci­dent, but I could­n’t tell which direc­tion the horn was com­ing from.

My mom’s vis­it­ing this week­end, so now she’s con­vinced I live in the ghet­to [appar­ent­ly an inac­cu­rate por­tray­al], even though, as far as I can tell, the place next to mine is the only prob­lem res­i­dence on my street. There was a fire at that place right before I moved into my house and they’ve been work­ing on it for a few months, the land­lord is absen­tee and obvi­ous­ly does­n’t care too much about that par­tic­u­lar prop­er­ty, as the fire was the result of code vio­la­tions.