Appar­ent­ly, if I behave myself, I’ll be allowed to catch the kid as Deb­bie push­es him out. I’ve been prac­tic­ing. A few weeks ago I bought a catcher’s mitt; I’m soft­en­ing it up with mink oil and keep­ing it wrapped around a soft­ball to get a nice pock­et cre­at­ed for the kid’s head.

Catch­ing my son will be the best thing to ever hap­pen to me.