Category: Personal

5.2.02 INT. LAFORTUNE STUDENT UNION COMPUTER CLUSTER. 2:41pm DAY

yeah so i’m typ­ing this paper on the rhetorics of self-mak­ing. i’m talk­ing about agency, use-val­ue of auton­o­my ver­sus rela­tion­al­i­ty, and the intrin­sic unnat­ur­al, vari­ant and dynam­ic nature of self­hood. i even under­stand most of what i am talk­ing about. the post­mod­ern is alive in my paper. reflex­iv­i­ty abounds, but the Law of Unin­tend­ed Con­se­quences also strikes with force when i start think­ing about shit like this. why am i even writ­ing this paper? i am mere­ly mak­ing myself write to what the prof wants to hear dis­cussed, mor­ph­ing myself into a a sit­u­a­tion where i am self-active but (pre­tend­ing) to not be self-aware of my actions. so my paper in effect is a lie. my final tes­ta­ment in the Devel­op­ment of Anthro­po­log­i­cal The­o­ry 430 class is noth­ing more than a sim­u­lacrum of vom­it­ed diplo­ma­cy designed to sate the self-esteem of my pro­fes­sor, so he feels he taught us well. it seems his self­ness is also cre­at­ed by the expec­ta­tions and actions of social behav­iors. i think i am betray­ing myself by even writ­ing this paper (even more so by try­ing to do a good job). what con­structs MYself?