Category: Fiction

Here is the Mad Lib that every­one helped on:

There was this wheel­bar­row, see. He is the one who did it. No no no. Pay atten­tion. It was yes­ter­day dawn and I was about twen­ty-six yards from the near­est cof­fee when sud­den­ly there was this ter­ri­ble sound. It was like 66 lla­mas mat­ing in uni­son with trom­bone accom­pa­ni­ment. I looked south­east and I saw this indi­go cloud of sta­plers which was­n’t the strangest part. The strange part was the inef­fec­tive man­ner in which the mar­bles of the police­men who then appeared to yam­mer it kept jiger­man­ing against it.

Out of this dis­as­ter emerged the wheel­bar­row. It looked very ass-ugly amid all of the wreck­age of the city. He approached me and since I was trapped under­neath a desk I could­n’t go to Sovi­et Rus­sia. He said to me ‘Go the Dis­tance’ and then went to the place that hairy wheel­bar­rows go after they have sin­gle­hand­ed­ly smacked an entire city block.

The cops decid­ed that I was the one to be sent to Las Vegas over this, they even thought my stained lime-col­ored under­pants were some sort of ter­ror­ist device meant to spread frus­tra­tion and hope­less­ness among the pop­u­lace. That is the rea­son I was naked in the pub­lic square, Your Hon­or. I swear.

And here is Five Dol­lar Beer’s con­tri­bu­tion:

There was this mog­wai, see. He is the one who did it. No no no. Pay atten­tion. It was yes­ter­day 7:00am and I was about 12 yards from the near­est van when sud­den­ly there was this ter­ri­ble sound. It was like 172 goats mat­ing in uni­son with oca­ri­na accom­pa­ni­ment. I looked north and I saw this neon green cloud of CDs which was­n’t the strangest part. The strange part was the inef­fec­tive man­ner in which the grem­lins of the police­men who then appeared to buy it kept harus­ing against it.

Out of this dis­as­ter emerged the mog­wai. It looked very wrinkly amid all of the wreck­age of the city. He approached me and since I was trapped under­neath a pump­kin I could­n’t go to South Dako­ta. He said to me ‘suck it’ and then went to the place that home­ly mog­wai go after hav­ing sin­gle­hand­ed­ly eat­en an entire city block.

The cops decid­ed that I was the one to be sent to Oax­a­ca over this, they even thought my stained shit-brown under­pants were some sort of ter­ror­ist device meant to spread frus­tra­tion and ela­tion among the pop­u­lace. That is the rea­son I was naked in the pub­lic square, Your Hon­or. I swear.