Tag: self-pity

Some­times I won­der if I am the butt of a cos­mic joke. I’m doing bet­ter though. Enlight­en­ment. I am invin­ci­ble. I’ve got RA inter­views tonight. I hope they go well. If I get select­ed it will save my mom­ma about 6k in col­lege expens­es next year. God will do as he deigns. All you have to do is real­ize how weak you are and then you can become stronger than those who remain igno­rant. My friend says HACK THE PLANET! what­ev­er that means, (it’s from Hack­ers but beyond that who the hell knows). I think I’m over my prob­lem if I can main­tain prop­er dis­tance. I should be Shao-lin. I miss fenc­ing, the feel of an epe? in my hand and the ebb and flow of the bout. Once the damn doc­tor gets back from his frikin month-long vaca­tion per­haps he will decide my dis­lo­cat­ed knee is healthy enough to begin prac­tice again. Per­haps I should become an ascetic. It has a nice ring to it right now. Strip myself of all irrel­e­van­cies and dis­cov­er myself in the process. Like that is ever going to hap­pen. Mom says my usu­al depressed mode is from the Super­bowl till Valen­tine’s Day. We’ll see. Remem­ber the stu­pid ele­men­tary school game MASH????